A Beautiful Transformation...

“for such as a time as this”…Ester 4:14

How many times have we as women read about the Proverbs 31 woman? The pressure or fear that we would never measure up to her? That our faults would show and that God would never see us as a virtuous women? Did you think you had to be perfect to be used by him for his kingdom? Do you ever feel like you want to make an impact but your life doesn’t feel big enough?

It’s not that she, this Proverbs 31 women, is really wonderful at caring for her family and home, has a great marriage, has wise business sense, or even knows how to balance all this that makes her a valuable Godly women.  It is not about her being perfect, but about living life with purpose- God’s purpose! She can be perceived as “perfect” only because she is a product of Jesus Christ who lives within her. The only thing that is perfect about her - is him.  She doesn’t have to wait until she has achieved a level of perfection that exists in her mind in order to be effective.

As I lead a nonprofit organization in Africa, direct businesses from my home, raised my children (10 in all) , struggled in my marriage, and questioned my relationship with Jesus Christ,  I saw that God had a way of redefining my expectations. I couldn’t no longer put him in a box or expect him to show up on my time table like I did with everything else in life.  How often I felt guilt and shame as a woman, as a mom, for thinking that aspects of my life were not “God worthy”. I confused my worth or value with what the world said it should be.  What was controlling my value? Where was I placing my security? And just how do I combine God’s calling in my life while actually living my life? It’s been a couple of years of restructuring and redesigning for Global Orphan Outreach too. God has taken us through an unexpected transformation.

I found that God has a way of using the details of my life to bring about his greater plan even when it felt contrary to my heart’s desire.  Learning to trust not in my circumstances or what I could do to fix them on my own, but in God’s power to overcome them. Even the unknown details of my life. I was not forgotten or unusable. I don’t see what God sees. I cannot let my “reality” determine what I believed about God. I could rest in knowing he has a plan I could not see. He really is who he says he is even during immense disappointments in life. And there seemed to be many.  I needed to believe and have faith that he is still in control and trusting that he has my best interest at hand.

God’s truth and his calling for me permeated all my insecurities, doubts, and misgivings about what I had to offer. I need not focus on my weakness that I perceived in myself or wish away all the things God created me to be.  He had already equipped me.  His divine plan for me  and for Global Orphan Outreach was occurring now. I need not wait. I had hope. Hope helps you hold your head up high even when multiple trials are hitting you. Hope lifts your perspective and helps you focus on what is really important. To follow Christ and his divine calling for me burdens, brokenness, control- freak tendencies, and all. I was going to be a refuge, an encouragement, a reflection of the One I served.

I know he will continue to build where the hurt and betrayal has been. God redeems hurts. The places that seem hallowed out and destroyed hold the greatest potential for a Beautiful Transformation both in me and in those we touch through Global Orphan Outreach ministry.

We ARE God Worthy. We ARE valuable to him.  What is he asking you to do today-where ever you are at?

Yes, such as a time as this.  You go Ester!